It’s pretty much inevitable that at some point in everyone’s life, there is going to be interpersonal conflict. Whether it’s simply because of personality differences or someone just being a jerk, the tension gets tucked away and stored in our bodies until we finally release it.
A few days ago, I had a not-so-pleasant situation arise, and I didn’t let it go as quickly as I would have liked now that I’m looking back on it. You all know what they say about hindsight…. (Lame.). Anyway, in this situation I can honestly say that personality differences had little, if anything, to do with it. I was dealing with a professional jerk. A professional, passive aggressive jerk (hereafter referred to as Jerk Face). Not fun.
Well, instead of reminding myself that I am in no way responsible for other people’s irritability, I responded in internal anger. And lots of it. Now, I’m pretty much stereotypical when it comes to people dealing with eating disorders in the sense that I absolutely, 100% abhor conflict. I actually try to avoid it at all costs, usually only hurting myself in the process. So all of this anger that was building up inside of my body as negative energy was not being released and, instead, was manifesting itself in the old, familiar ED urges and thoughts. All I had to do was to accept the situation as it was and MOVE ON. But I couldn’t! I felt that it was Jerk Face vs. Marie, 1 – 0. And I wanted to even the score.
Long story short, I didn’t even the score. I didn’t act upon my ED thoughts. I didn’t scream and shout and cause a big show with Jerk Face. I simply began to move on. What has been said can’t be taken back, not even with a hypothetical apology from Jerk Face (<–not gonna happen), so why even bother? Why waste more of my personal time by over-analyzing and fretting over something that should be done and over with? After all, I am fairly confident that Jerk Face hasn’t given her malicious deed a second thought.
What I’m trying to say goes far beyond simply dealing with a cranky person. I’m trying to remind myself (and to share with you all) is that our bodies are freaking ingenious. Our daily interactions, our thoughts, our emotions…everything gets stored in our bodies as energy…either negative or positive, whether we realize it or not. When something isn’t serving you, i.e. being stored as negative energy, LET GO OF IT! It will only continue to build more and more until it is released… like a bottle of pop that you just keep shaking and shaking and shaking. Unscrew the top and let it out or wait until it explodes. On the other hand, HOLD ON to the things that are stored as positive energy in your body. And listen to your body to know the difference. 🙂 The difference becomes quite obvious when you pause long enough to notice. In the long run, you’re either helping or hurting yourself…no one else.